What a BEAUTIFUL Way the Lord Speaks / Forgive and Forget / Sept. 7 School Begins

With
the Guidance of our Precious Lord,
Today can be made ingenious
mixing melancholy and Joy
in a Beautiful Masterpiece
of our Time –
Life.
.
No,
we cannot avoid the melancholic tone
of circumstance
laden upon our very fragile
and very Human Hearts.

But Hope
is embodied in every new Birth
of every precious Moment in Time.
And each new generation
of Prayerful Thought,
can help to make
a better World.

Beautiful and Timeless Messages
emanate from the Word
of God.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY
THE LORD SPEAKS.

Like the charming and elegant Birds
dancing high in the Sky,
singing their favorite songs
in a perpetual Creation
of Divine Inspiration.
The spectacular landscapes
of the horizons of our Life
offer inspiration and pleasure
to purify our Spirits.

The Magnificent
and Celestial Essence of our Eternal Being
can be reached deep in our Hearts
in its reflections,
through the shining Beauty
of God’s very Soft and Gentle
Love.

There is so much Beauty
and Truth
in this World.
And it is there
for YOU.
.
Rest your thoughts,
quiet your bruised mind.
Open your eyes,
and open your Heart.
God is always near.
The Celestial Light
you will see and feel
is your own Light,
your own Love,
your own Beauty,
Created by God.

We Live
at the Edge
of Perpetual Creation.
The Divine Power of God
resides within each of us.
His Light of Divine Energy
is revealed in spectacular landscapes
created for the pleasure
of the Sacred Souls
of His Beloved Children.

Such Beauty
transports us into
ourselves.
Feel Eternally Grateful
for everything in this Life.
Share the Beauty
of everything you are,
everything that makes us whole,
everything that completes us.

“Happiness held is the seed;
Happiness shared is the
Flower.”
– John Harrigan

Don’t give up
on the person you are becoming.
Enchanting Love and Light
from the Sacred Heart of God
will touch your Heart
and reveal the Magnificent Being of Light
and Love
that you are.
.
The Beauty of God’s Love
is all around us,
emanating PURE energy,
allowing us to see and feel
Love
in every moment
of Time.

We need to remember
He made us
for His Wonderful Purpose –
to Love,
an be Loved.

The awareness
of our impressive inner Beauty,
and the brilliance of our Spirit,
 can give the Heart
an aura of calm and tranquility
that allows us to simply forget 
our sorrows and anguish.
In our World
we unnecessarily punish ourselves
every day,
by violence and the loss of respect
for Human values.
.
In the midst
of all this seemingly endless insanity,
there is Hope.
Our Faith,
in God and in each other,
can reach our Hearts
and revitalize us
with a wonderful and enchanting
realization
of the Ultimate Reality
that God is
Love,
and so are
WE.

Seek the Lord in Prayer,
where He will be found.
Call upon His Holy Name.
He is near.
.
Return Home,
return to the Lord.
Ask for His mercy,
for He will abundantly pardon.
He
is your Father.
And YOU
are His Sacred Child.
.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there, But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
“For you shall go out with Joy,
And be led out with Peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing
before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”
– Isaiah 55:8-11

Go
where you can go.
And Thank God
for you for being
you.

Be grateful for the Love
God has placed
into your Heart.

Seek Peace inwardly
and you will find it,
and ultimately,
your True Self.

Goodnight.

Forgive and Forget

click here for more

It’s not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving — and ‘forgetting’ — can be powerful. Here are some tips.

By Tom Valeo

Medically Reviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD on February 09, 2007

From the WebMD Archives

Many people view forgiveness as an offshoot of love — a gift given freely to those who have hurt you.

Forgiveness, however, may bring enormous benefits to the person who gives that gift, according to recent research. If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you’ll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiving is notoriously difficult. “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive,” said C.S. Lewis.

And forgetting may not be a realistic or desirable goal.

“Despite the familiar cliche, ‘forgive and forget,’ most of us find forgetting nearly impossible,” says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Hope College. “Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting. Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and adverbs that stir up contempt.”

Forgiving (and Forgetting) Quells Stress

That type of angry “embellishment,” as Witvliet calls it, seems to carry serious consequences. In a 2001 study, she monitored the physiological responses of 71 college students as they either dwelled on injustices done to them, or imagined themselves forgiving the offenders.

“When focused on unforgiving responses, their blood pressure surged, their heart rates increased, brow muscles tensed, and negative feelings escalated,” she says. “By contrast, forgiving responses induced calmer feelings and physical responses. It appears that harboring unforgiveness comes at an emotional and a physiological cost. Cultivating forgiveness may cut these costs.”

But how do we cultivate forgiveness?

Frederic Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, readily admits that forgiveness, like love, can’t be forced.

“You can’t just will forgiveness,” says Luskin, author of Forgive For Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. “What I teach is that you can create conditions where forgiveness is more likely to occur. There are specific practices we offer that diminish hostility and self-pity, and increase positive emotions, so it becomes more likely that a genuine, heartfelt release of resentment will occur.”

How to Encourage Forgiveness

For example, Luskin encourages the practice of gratitude — the active effort to acknowledge what’s good in your life.

“Gratitude is simply focusing your attention on the positive things that have happened,” he says. “That creates a biochemical experience that makes it more likely that forgiveness will occur.”

Stress management, whether through meditation, deep breathing, or relaxation exercises, also helps quell the stress of anger and resentment, he says. So does “cognitive reframing,” which fosters acceptance of the facts of your situation.

“You may wish you had a better mother or a better lover,” Luskin says, “but the world is the way it is.”

Finally, Luskin encourages people to change the story they tell themselves so they appear more like survivors who are hopeful about the future rather than victims with a grievance.

“You can change, ‘I hate my mother because she didn’t love me,’ to, ‘life is a real challenge for me because I didn’t feel loved as a child,'” Luskin said. “That makes forgiveness so much more possible.”

Two Types of Forgiveness

Everett L. Worthington Jr., PhD, a professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University and the author of Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Theory and Applications, divides forgiveness into two types. Decisional forgiveness involves choosing to let go of angry thoughts about the person you feel has wronged you.

“You can tell yourself, ‘I am not going to seek revenge,’ for example, or, ‘I am going to avoid that person,'” Worthington says. “You could choose decisional forgiveness and still have a lot of emotional unforgiveness.”

The ultimate goal, however, is emotional forgiveness, in which negative emotions such as resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger, and fear are replaced with love, compassion, sympathy, and empathy.

“Emotional forgiveness is where the health action is,” says Worthington. “Emotional unforgiveness causes a chronic stress response, which results in obsessing about the wrong done to you. Rumination is what gets people into trouble. Rumination is the mental health bad boy. It’s associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field — obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, depression … probably hives too.”

REACH for Forgiveness

To help people achieve emotional forgiveness, Worthington has devised a 5-step program called REACH, with each letter representing one step.

“First you recall the hurt objectively, without blame and self-victimization,” Worthington says. “Then you empathize by trying to imagine the viewpoint of the person who wronged you. The altruistic part involves getting people to think about a time they were forgiven and how that felt. When it’s time to commit to forgiveness, people usually say, not yet, but when they finally do, they must then hold on to forgiveness.”

All this is not merely theoretical for Worthington. His mother was beaten to death with a crowbar in 1995, and yet, by applying the five steps of REACH, he managed to forgive.

“Within 30 hours I was able to forgive the youths who had committed this horrible crime,” he writes in Forgiveness and Reconciliation.

When Not Forgiving Is OK

But some people cannot forgive, and that’s OK too, according to Jeanne Safer, PhD, a psychotherapist and the author of Forgiving and Not Forgiving. For some of her patients, recognizing that they don’t have to forgive is a huge relief.

“Many don’t have to forgive in order to resolve their feelings,” Safer says. “They say, ‘I can never feel OK about these terrible things, but I’m not going to be vengeful.'”

To help them achieve this resolution, Safer offers a three-step process. The first step involves re-engagement — a decision to think through what happened. The second step, recognition, means looking at every feeling you may have about the injury. “You ask yourself, ‘why do I want revenge?'” Safer said. “Revenge is based on powerlessness and it’s doomed to failure.”

The final step involves reinterpretation of the injury, including an attempt to understand the person who caused it. “This is where forgivers and nonforgivers divide,” Safer said. “Sometimes you’re not able to reconnect with the person, but if you go through this process, at least you won’t be a victim.”

Forgiveness research proliferated after the publication in 1984 of Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, by Lewis B. Smedes, who claimed that forgiveness produced benefits for the forgiver.

Safer, however, is wary of those who picked up on this idea and started to promote what she calls “promiscuous forgiveness.”

“What’s important is working it through and achieving resolution, whether it leads to forgiveness or not. Forgiveness involves wishing the other well. You’re already there if you don’t wish them ill,” Safer says.

“It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh, it seems to me
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

What do I do to make you love me
What I’ve gotta do to be heard
What do I do when lightening strikes me
What’ve I gotta do
What’ve I gotta do?
When sorry seems to be the hardest word.”
– Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles

are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer – Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2021
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison. “
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.

 

 

Life is a Truly Beautiful Work of Art / 9 Ways to Cope With Loneliness / Sept. 7 is the BIG day

 Life
is a Truly Beautiful
Work of Art.

If we Believe
our very Human
potential for self-awareness
is limited,
then we are limited.
But awareness
of the Divine Love
that dwells within
gives us possibilities for real
Freedom
and the realization that
nothing is impossible.

“For nothing will be impossible
with God.”
– Luke 1:37

Yes,
we are physically finite
and our Time on this Earth is limited,
but we have far greater potential
than we are ever aware of,
and we possess the choice,
the Freedom,
to ask of the Infinite Love
of God.

As we deeply reflect upon Life,
we recognize our alternatives of choice
and decide among them.
But if we passively accept the circumstances
of our physical Being,
we surrender control of our Lives.
.
My Dear Friends,
we are Born
with the strong desire
to shape and control our Life
and create a Truly meaningful
existence.
.
And typically,
we become victims of loneliness,
and a meaningless feeling
deep inside our hollow Lives.

But we are Free
to choose.
We have choice.
We can shape our own
destiny.

How we Live,
and if we Love,
becomes the result of our
awareness and
the full realization of how deeply
we are Loved
by God.

Let us Pray
and Thank God
for the Truly Amazing Gift
of Life,
for the Infinite Love
expressed in so many ways,
in the Dream Blue Sky,
and
our Sun shinning days,
the Spirit of the storms
that nourish Life
in so many ways,
the green of the grass
and shade of the Trees
and everything in Nature
expressing the Infinite Love
of God
from Above.

In the depths of such Beauty,
in the Divine complexity and awesome vastness
of God’s Creations,
Mother Nature
will guide you
to the Creator.

The Dream State
of our purely Beautiful World,
of our vast and ever expanding
Universe,
will remove every doubt
of God’s Love for you.

“Trust in the LORD
with all your Heart,
and
do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make straight your paths.”

– Proverbs 3:5-6

On Wings
we are lifted up
with the sudden awareness
of the Infinite Love
of God.

His immanence in Nature,
and in us,
in the Nature of our Real Being,
becomes a Wonder
to behold.

Yes,
the Birth of our awareness
of the Glory and the Love of God,
lifts us up
as if on Wings.

Philosophers
are not the only ones
interested in questions about the meaning
of Life.
There are psychological studies
that tell us
our happiness declines in our 20’s
and returns around the age of 50.
This is a very long period
of personal anxiety and struggle
for each one of us.

In the very Beautiful and lovely and peaceful
Forests of our Earth,
and of our Mind,
the sounds of Nature,
of birds chirping so gentle and sweet
and the lovely waters so calming and smooth,
can relax the Mind
and sooth the Heart.
The Awesomeness of Nature
reflects the Inner Spirit of Mankind.
Deep within,
we are Natural,
we are from Nature.
We are the rain,
we are the Sun,
we are truly needed,
by everyone.
We are dreaming
all of Life away
each and every night,
each and every day.
And in our Dreams,
we must never forget
the Child in us,
is a Child
of God.

If you want to disappear
from the trials and tribulations of Life,
go on a Spiritual Journey.
Your fervent Prayer
will take you far away
to a Land filled with Love,
found within the Heart
of God
and in your Sacred Heart,
forever.

Let us give Praise
for the transcendence of God,
for His Beautiful Mystery.

The Depth and Reality of His Being
are incredible.

As your Prayer is Heavenly,
your precious Life can be
breathtaking.

Love
is captivating
and transcendental too.

To Love yourself,
and all Living Things surrounding you,
can protect the Heart,
ease your anxiety
and totally eliminate depression.
Cherishing the Flower of God’s Wisdom,
will ease pain and lift your mood.

You are so much closer
to God’s Love
than you realize.

Remember,
the night is always darkest
before the Sunrise.

The more we help others,
the more we will be inspired.
We
are stronger
than we can even
imagine.

What a Blessing
to wake up to such Beauty
as the awareness
of God’s Love
for us.

Cherish
the Beauty
that resides within your
Heart.
There is nothing
more Beautiful
than you.

Goodnight.

9 Ways to Cope With Loneliness

By

Elizabeth Scott, MS

Reviewed by

Amy Morin, LCSW

Updated on April 01, 2021

Virtually everyone experiences loneliness from time to time. The feeling can be especially noticeable around the holidays, Valentine’s Day, and times of extreme stress.

The sheer number of adults in the United States who feel lonely is quite large – in a January 2020 survey of 10,000 adults by Cigna, 61% of those surveyed said they felt lonely. However, people don’t always talk about feelings of loneliness and don’t always know what to do with these feelings.

Other than being emotionally painful, loneliness can impact people in many ways:

• Depression: A 2021 study published in Lancet Psychiatry found associations between loneliness and depressive symptoms in a group of adults 50 years old and older.2 Research also suggests that loneliness and depression may feed off of and perpetuate each other.
• Physical health: Several studies have linked emotional stress with depressed immunity.4 Other research links loneliness and depression with poorer health and well-being.5 Therefore, people who are experiencing loneliness are susceptible to a variety of health issues.
• Physical pain: Research shows that the areas of the brain that deal with social exclusion are the same areas that process physical pain, adding a scientific explanation to the oft-romanticized experience of a “broken heart.”

If you’re experiencing loneliness, there are some things you can do about it. Below are nine strategies for how to deal with being lonely.

Join a Class or Club

Whether it’s an art class, exercise class, or book club, joining a class or a club automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests. Check your local library or community college as well as city parks and recreation departments to see what’s available.

Joining a class or club can also provide a sense of belonging that comes with being part of a group. This can stimulate creativity, give you something to look forward to during the day, and help stave off loneliness.

Volunteer

Volunteering for a cause you believe in can provide the same benefits as taking a class or joining a club: meeting others, being part of a group, and creating new experiences. It also brings the benefits of altruism and can help you find more meaning in your life.

In addition to decreasing loneliness, this can bring greater happiness and life satisfaction. Additionally, working with those who have less than you can help you feel a deeper sense of gratitude for what you have in your own life.

Why Being Good to Others Is Also Benefits You

Find Support Online

Because loneliness is a somewhat widespread issue, there are many people online who are looking for people to connect with. Find people with similar interests by joining Facebook or Meetup groups focused on your passions. Check to see if any apps you use, like fitness or workout apps, have a social element or discussion board to join.

You do have to be careful of who you meet over the internet (and, obviously, don’t give out any personal information like your bank account number), but you can find real support, connection, and lasting friendships from people you meet online.

A word of caution: Social media can actually increase feelings of loneliness and cause FOMO, or “fear of missing out” so be sure to check in with yourself if you’re starting to feel this way.

Strengthen Existing Relationships

You probably already have people in your life that you could get to know better or connections with family that could be deepened. If so, why not call friends more often, go out with them more, and find other ways to enjoy your existing relationships and strengthen bonds?

If you’re struggling to find the motivation to reach out to your loved ones, it might be helpful to start slowly. Come up with just one supportive friend or family member who you could imagine reaching out to. It’s also reassuring to know that strong social support is beneficial for your mental health.

Adopt a Pet

Pets, especially dogs and cats, offer so many benefits, and preventing loneliness is one of them. Rescuing a pet combines the benefits of altruism and companionship, and fights loneliness in several ways.

It can connect you with other people – walking a dog opens you up to a community of other dog-walkers, and a cute dog on a leash tends to be a people magnet. Additionally, pets provide unconditional love, which can be a great salve for loneliness.

How Having a Pet Affects Your Stress Levels

Talk to Strangers

An easy way to find connections in everyday life is by interacting in small ways with acquaintances or strangers you encounter. In fact, research shows that doing so contributes to our social and emotional well-being.7 So next time you grab a cup of coffee or see your neighbor on a walk, strike up a conversation. You might just find you feel happier afterward.

Tip

Do you have a smartphone that you frequently check while out and about? Think about putting it away a bit more. Whether you’re looking up directions or checking the news while waiting in line, research suggests that technology can get in the way of social opportunities.8

Practice Self-Care

When you’re feeling lonely, be sure you’re doing what you can to take care of yourself in other ways. Self-care is always a good idea, but especially when you are feeling down. Eating nutritious food, exercising, and getting enough sleep will only make you feel better in the long run. Bonus: Take a workout class or join a running club for exercise and social interaction.

5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life

Keep Busy

Distract yourself from those feelings of loneliness and make a date with yourself. Do you have a hobby you’ve always wanted to take up or a home improvement project that’s been lingering on your to-do list? Take some time to invest in yourself and your interests and keep your mind occupied in the process.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares ways to stay strong even if you feel lonely.

See a Therapist
(I highly recommend Dr. David Welsh in Fort Worth – WCA)

Research suggests that loneliness and symptoms of depression can perpetuate each other, meaning the more lonely you are, the more depressed you feel, and vice versa.3

Sometimes just “getting out there” and meeting other people isn’t enough. It’s possible to still feel lonely when you’re around them, which could actually be a sign of depression or social anxiety. If this is the case for you, it may be a good idea to seek psychotherapy to help with feelings of loneliness, especially if you also feel other symptoms of depression.

Some forms of therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you to change your thoughts as well as your actions to help you not only experience less loneliness but have more tools to prevent it. Whatever you do to combat loneliness, know that you are truly not alone, and there are many things you can do to feel more connected.

If you or a loved one are struggling with a mental health condition, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles

are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer – Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2021
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison. “
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.

The Freedom of Hearts to Love and be Loved / Don’t Neglect These 10 Most Important Things If You Want To Be Happy / Sept. 7 School Begins

The Enchanting Love
and Illuminating Light
of the Precious Word of God
will touch your Sacred Heart
and emanate the Energy of Love
through your Life,
allowing others to see
and feel Love
to get them through Life’s
most challenging
moments.

Your Love
is like a Jewel
found in the middle of the
darkest night,
glowing with luminescence,
awesome and soothing.

I can only imagine
how many Hearts found refuge
in the Inspired Word
of God.

Throughout the years,
the Unique and Sacred Gift
of the Unconditional Love
of our Precious Lord
for all Humanity,
has brought us Hope
and cleared the sky
toward bright new Horizons
for millions of people.
.
The Adoration of the Lord
is followed by Happy tears,
and the Freedom of Hearts
to Love
and be Loved.

If you want to find
the Love of God,
hang out in the space
between your thoughts.

My Dear Friends,
there is nothing more Healing
and reviving for your Spirit
as the rustle of Leaves
through the Trees,
and the songs of God’s winged
Creations.
The Beautiful green
of His Majestic Landscapes
and Glorious Sky,
allows our Sacred Hearts
to rise above
all our feelings,
all our thoughts.

There is something
wonderful
about the Morning.
The calm Beauty
revives our Spirit
and expresses the Joy
of being Truly alive.
We can feel happy about the
Dawn,
as the Birds sing
their favorite songs
and we journey
Home.

The patches of Sunlight
flickering through the Leaves
of Beautiful Trees,
blends into the Majesty
of the Glorious green carpet
flowing through the maze
of our Dreams
arching through the Sky.

Like the Stars at night
that light up our eyes,
captivating our imagination,
as they glow warm
like the Fire
in our Hearts.

You Truly are a Gift
from God.

If you want to Live
where there is Beauty
and Peace,
go into His Beauty,
into His Natural World.
Close your eyes.
Open up your Heart.
Ask the One
who Truly Loves You
to show you
the Way.
Step into His Love
and you will NEVER
look back.

You
will be Home.

 

May GOD Bless you
and shower Blessings onto you
and your Family.
Your Name
is written in the Book
of Life.
You are a Blessing
and are Blessed.

Goodnight.

Don’t Neglect These 10 Most Important Things
If You Want To Be Happy

April 21, 2021 by Barrie Davenport

It’s hard to know where to put your time and energy on any given day.

It’s even harder to identify what matters most in life when you consider the bigger picture of an entire lifetime.

There are so many obligations and responsibilities vying for your attention, not to mention the constant lure of entertainment readily available with your digital devices.

Sadly, research shows the average person will spend over 76,500 hours on their smartphones over the course of their lifetime.

That works out to just under nine years of your life staring at your phone.

That little factoid should make you want to cry.

There have to be more important things in life than a hand-held entertainment box.

And there are.

Read on to learn the things that matter in life and how to integrate them into your days.

What’s The Most Important Thing in Life?

According to Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who interviewed dying patients and wrote a book about it, people have five main regrets at the end of their lives.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

These regrets reveal a lot about what people believe are the crucial things in life — authenticity, life balance, self-honesty, relationships, and joy.

None of her patients talked about wishing for more money, fame, achievement, power, or time on their smartphones.

Pinpointing the one “most important thing” is difficult, but I’d bet the majority of us would claim our relationships are number one. The people we love are what count the most.

The Top 10 Most Important Things in Life

What are the ten most important things in life? Each of us may define these top ten differently, but it’s essential that you do define them.

Without clarifying your values and life priorities, you’ll stay stuck on your smartphone or focus on other things you’ll remember with regret on your deathbed.

Your first step in avoiding that deathbed regret (and living a happy life between now and then) is sitting down with pen and paper and writing about the following:

• Think about what you value, what you love, what’s important to you, and what you don’t want to miss out on.

• Also, write down what’s sucking your time and preventing you from prioritizing your priorities.

• Finally, write down any mindsets that hold you back from grabbing those golden rings of life that can make you happy.

If you need some help, here are ten things that matter in life to most people. See if they’ll make it on your top ten list.

1. Your Relationships

This one is at the top of the list for a reason. We are social animals, and we need connection with other people for our mental and emotional health.

Relationships are essential for our very survival. Plenty of research tells us that healthy social relationships have a profound impact on avoiding early death.

One study shows that a lack of social relationships negatively impacts health as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

We need regular connections with family, friends, and co-workers. But the most important relationship is with a committed partner or spouse.

Being in a committed relationship reduces stress and affords a sense of purpose to your life.

2. Your Authenticity

How much of your life have you spent trying to be someone you’re not or pleasing others at the expense of your true self?

Living inauthentically and accepting a lifestyle, relationship, career, or mindset that isn’t you can rob you of inner peace. It impacts your mental and emotional health, leaving you feeling empty and suffocated.

It’s never too late to accept that you aren’t being true to yourself. You can start over and allow yourself to be the person you are meant to be and fulfill the dreams you’ve stuffed down for so long.

If you aren’t sure who that authentic person is, begin a self-exploration journey to find out. Examine all aspects of yourself — from your life choices to your opinions, mindsets, and beliefs.

Have you accepted these parts of yourself because you felt you should or because they truly feel right for you?

3. Your Work/Life Balance

Your work is what allows you to live the life you want (or at least some of it). Your career also can be inherently fulfilling and enjoyable. But your work shouldn’t define you and overwhelm all other parts of your life.

If you don’t have time for your meaningful relationships, your hobbies, or just relaxation, then your life is imbalanced in a way that will foster regret down the road.

Find that happy balance in your work, finances, and lifestyle that allows you to focus on many things you value and enjoy.

4. Your Mental Health

Life isn’t without emotional challenges, trauma, and stress. Even if you don’t have a full-blown mental illness like depression or anxiety, the slings and arrows of being human means each of us will experience mental health issues from time to time.

If you ignore the issues when they arise or fail to manage your mental health preemptively, the inevitable challenges of life will send you into a downward spiral. This spiral impacts your happiness and well-being as sure as day turns into night.

Protect your mental health fiercely by practicing self-care, engaging in therapy if necessary, and finding ways to reduce stress. Try to be proactive about it — before you have a life event that disrupts your well-being.

5. Your Physical Health

Being ill, overweight, lethargic, run-down, and sedentary doesn’t make for a happy life. If your physical health is compromised, your mental health and levels of happiness will suffer.

Studies confirm that the degree to which your life is compromised by disease or illness is directly associated with how happy and content you feel.

It’s hard to be happy when you’re in pain or otherwise debilitated and can’t participate in the activities and pleasures of life you enjoy.

Yesterday isn’t too soon to put your health on a pedestal and take care of yourself the way you’d care for a beloved child. Even if you hate it, get some exercise every day. Your body requires it.

Stop eating junk and overeating. Don’t put dangerous substances in your body that can shorten your life or make you ill. Wear a seatbelt, a bike helmet, and other necessary protective gear, so you don’t get hurt.

---

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6. Your Integrity

Your good character means everything. If you aren’t living a life of integrity, your relationships (and perhaps your career and lifestyle) will suffer, and you’ll lose respect for yourself.

How can you be happy with yourself if others can’t trust you or count on your word? How can you feel fulfilled or live a meaningful life without knowing your values and honoring them the best you can every single day?

Immediate gratification, doing what we want when we want, telling lies to protect ourselves, giving in to temptation — all of these things are easy traps. Work hard to maintain your integrity and get back on course quickly when you falter.

7. Your Curiosity

Don’t allow your life to become rote and boring. Try not to assume you know all the answers and have learned everything you need to know.

Remain as curious and engaged in life as you did when you were a child. Find a reason to feel awe and wonder every day.

Curious people have active minds and a desire to learn and grow. The activities involved in satisfying your curiosity can be profoundly satisfying and enjoyable. They make you are a more interesting person who can connect with a wider variety of people.

Staying mentally active throughout your life will protect your brain as you age and give you a sense of purpose.

8. Your Time

Time is limited in life. The end will come for everyone — you are no exception. If you live to age 90 (lucky you), it’s easy to calculate how many days you have left on this Earth — 90 minus your age times 365.

We’re talking in the thousands of days, days that are ticking by faster than you can imagine. You spend about a third of your life sleeping. And then there’s that smartphone statistic mentioned above.

You need to define what you want to achieve and accomplish in this life and start doing those things right now. Protect your time for what you value more than anything else. Don’t give it away easily or mindlessly.

9. Your Contribution

A life without purpose or meaning is empty. Who wants to die feeling they’ve done nothing to make the world a better place or contribute in some way?

Your contribution to the world doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. You contribute profoundly by raising your children, helping a neighbor, tending to a sick friend, or offering a listening ear.

Ask yourself, “What are some small things I can do today to help someone else or make a difference?” Be intentional about your contributions and remember them during the times when you question your value or worth.

10. Your Love

Your love for other people, yourself, and life itself is the centerpiece of everything else that matters to you. You have a vast capacity for love that shouldn’t be suppressed or denied.

Even though life and people can hurt and disappoint you, keep love burning in your heart and relish both the pleasure and pain it affords.

Give it and receive it freely, even after it’s knocked you down.

Yes, love makes you vulnerable, but vulnerability makes you compassionate, resilient, and whole. It opens you to the fullness of life that is rich and deep.

What Are the Important Things in Your Life?

Perhaps these ten things that matter in life encompass what’s important to you. Or maybe we’ve left out some of the important things that define who you are.

Write down what’s essential and valuable to you. Share your list with the people closest to you. Make it a priority to know who you are and how you want to live.

Whatever you clarify as valuable and meaningful to you, remember to take action on those things so you create a life you look back on with gratitude and satisfaction.

                            Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles

are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer – Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2021
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison. “
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.

..

We Are Forever Alive in our Treasured Memories / Yes, You Matter / Sept. 7 First Day of New School Year

Treasured memories
are great works of Art,
Beautiful
in their own right.
They make us want to turn back
the pages of Time,
to days of old gold,
days that now
are ever more,
days that will be here
for an Eternity.

We Live in the moment,
and are forever Alive
in the past.

We are called to the Life
of each precious moment.
And as we gaze into the eye
of our Sun,
we come to Love and cherish
our precious Mother Earth
and walk upon her gently
and with deep and abiding
gratitude.
.
What God has provided
leads to Happiness and Kindness
in all Hearts,
for all Life,
if you let it.

“This
is the day
which the LORD hath made;
we will rejoice
and be glad in it.“
– Psalm 118:24

God protects us,
and guides us
with Amazing Love.
In our Lives,
the Beautiful birds are singing
and children are laughing
because of the Joy they find
at play.

What is Natural,
and in Nature
shows us the way.

And Beautiful Music
is one of the ways
by which the Soul returns
to Heaven.

When we sing
the World disappears,
and the Music in our Hearts
flows over everything
in Life,
and Love washes
clean
the illusions we
have seen.

“He Who Sings
Prays Twice.”
– St. Augustine

We can keep
the moment,
and appreciate all
that has been given to us
from God’s Love –
the air we breathe,
the eyes to see,
the vistas and Natural Beauty
of our Sacred Home,
the Beautiful Earth.

Yes,
our eyes
are the windows
to our soul.

Music
can have new meaning
when we realize the Wonder
that is this Creation
and the Beauty that surrounds us
constantly.

Music
helps us reflect
upon the precious Gift of Life
and give Thanks to God
for His Immeasurable
Love.

If you listen,
with your mind and your Heart,
you hear Beautiful Birds singing
in the trees near the sky
and see the blades of grass
as they sway in the wind.
The clouds in the Sky
and the rays of the Sun
are dancing on our skin
and making Love grow.
Precious drops of rain
are kissing the Sacred ground
and washing away all the thirst
that may be found.

One day God will unite with you
in a realm filled with
unbelievable Beauty and Love.

Welcome to a future,
where everyone wants to Live
in the past.

My Dear Friends,
we can turn back
Time.

We can
rescue the chance,
perhaps the only chance,
to say I Love You
and hug the one in need
of your Love,
and show that person,
so important in your Life,
how you Truly feel.

With Prayer to God,
and the Guidance of your Heart,
you can turn back Time.
Do not hold back your Beautiful feelings,
do not Live a superficial Life.
We are Human,
and we are Divine.
We need never
be afraid of
Love.

Always remember,
that you are never alone.
One day,
this day,
you will remember
someone who Truly Loves you.
One day it will happen.
One day.
This is a Promise from
your Heart.

Just let your
Loved One know,
without another passing day.

If lost
is how your feeling,
and the World outside
becomes too much,
please understand
and Believe,
“They who sow in tears,
shall reap in Joy.”
– Psalm 126:5-6

It is so important
that we keep our Faith
in the Divine
and be kind and generous to those around us.
All horrific situations we find ourselves in
are temporary and shall pass.
This Beautiful Planet,
our Mother the Earth,
with the Love and Guidance of God,
is resetting itself.

.Let us respect and trust in our Sacred Universe
to Love us all,
while the Earth is cleansing
our Soul.

Be grateful for the Gift of Life,
for the wonderful people
all around.
There are so many,
the number is
profound.

If we had the chance
to go back to the past,
we would really enjoy Life.
God enables us
to do so,
and for a reason.
Our Beautiful Memories
show us
the way,
The Path to Joy
we have traveled before.
Yes.
We know the way.

 I am Praying
that you
will let Love in.
As our World
turns more and more
to aggression, violence, drugs
and the bacterial excrement of alcohol,
the cruelty and ugliness could easily
overwhelm us.

I Pray
you seek answers
through Prayer
for the problems we have created
and stop allowing the pain and suffering
from bad choices and evil circumstance
to interfere in the Natural Course
of Life.
Let Happiness and True LOVE
in.

Let Heaven embrace your Heart,
and your Soul will swim
among the Millions of bright Stars
that live in Memories of the past
and Dreams the future.

Choose
to Love Life.
Your Love
will be Alive
for an Eternity.

The Choice is
Truly yours.

Goodnight.

Yes, You Matter

Okay, so you want acknowledgement. That’s fine. But no one can tell you how you should feel, especially you.

By Psychology Today Contributors published January 5, 2021 – last reviewed on January 12, 2021

Jennifer Tapias Derch

Everyone wants to feel validated. Who doesn’t want to be seen and heard? Yet, much of the time, you may well feel just the opposite—you may feel judged, denied, or completely ignored. You want to matter. Of course, validation does not mean that every person will agree with what you have to say; it just means that you are being acknowledged and you are accepted, regardless of your point of view. Looking for validation can certainly go too far, perhaps in the form of approval-seeking or people-pleasing. However, it all starts with self-validation. To accept yourself, you cannot push feelings away or negate yourself. You are who you are. And that is OK.

Validation Starts With You

Accept your internal experience and build your identity.

By Karyn Hall, Ph.D.

Validation is the expression of honest understanding. It’s the acknowledgment of others, of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. And to do a better job of validation, you must start with yourself. Such self-validation is understanding your internal experience and your actions.

This doesn’t mean that whatever you think or feel is justified. There are many times when you will have thoughts that surprise you, that don’t reflect your values or fit what you know to be true. Validation doesn’t mean approval, it’s about understanding. If you fight your thoughts and feelings, or judge yourself for having them, then you may well become emotionally distressed. You’ll also fail to learn about yourself.

Validating your thoughts and emotions will help you stay calm and manage yourself more effectively. Validating yourself will help you accept yourself, which will lead you to a stronger identity and better skills at regulating intense emotions.

Self-validation also helps you find wisdom. If you accept that you are feeling envy and you understand the reason, there is an opportunity to learn from your experience. What is it that you envy? What does it mean for you?

Psychologist Marsha Linehan, the creator of dialectical behavior therapy and a professor emeritus at the University of Washington in Seattle, defined six levels of validation. The steps below are based on her ideas.

Be Here Now

Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. Be mindful of your emotions without pushing them away; this means grounding yourself and not dissociating, daydreaming, suppressing, or numbing your emotions. Being present means listening to yourself, even if feeling the pain of sadness, hurt, and fear is challenging.

Avoiding emotions can result in negative consequences, while accepting emotions allows them to pass, and allows you to build resilience. Being present validates that you matter, that you have the strength to feel, that you can experience the physical sensations that are part of your emotional terrain.

Engage in Honest Reflection

Accurate reflection means acknowledging your internal state and labeling it accurately. When you observe and describe your interior experience accurately, you don’t make interpretations—you stick to the facts. What emotions are you experiencing? What triggered the thoughts and emotions you are having? Where do you feel sensations in your body and what actions do you want to take? Labeling your experience with accurate reflection can help you regulate your emotions.

This thought, I’m a loser, and no one wants to spend time with me, does not state the observable facts of your experience. Instead, observe and describe your experience: I feel angry and disappointed. It started yesterday when my friend canceled lunch again. I sense tightness in my stomach, so maybe there is fear as well.

Guess Your Emotions

Sometimes you won’t be sure what you are feeling or thinking. In these situations, ask yourself: Am I feeling _____? If someone else were in this situation, they would probably feel ____.

You might also guess your emotions by looking at the actions you want to take. If you want to hide, perhaps you are feeling shame. Maybe you are thinking shameful thoughts. Where are your physical sensations? Fear, for example, is often felt in the throat. Guessing your emotions and thoughts based on the information you have will help you learn more about yourself.

Remember the Past

Sometimes you will have thoughts and feelings that are based on events that happened in your past. Maybe you’re afraid when people argue, because past arguments scared you. You could validate yourself with this thought: It’s understandable that I am afraid of arguments because when I was young my parents hurt each other during conflict.

Normalize Your Feelings

Sometimes people who have intense emotions don’t see themselves as normal. Everyone has emotions. No one is happy all the time. It’s normal to feel painful emotions. You feel sad when you didn’t get that job you wanted, and this is commonly felt by others as well. It’s normal. Instead, self-validate: Of course I feel sad. I really wanted that job.

Be Genuine

Do not lie to yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. Rejecting who you are is high-level invalidation and can be damaging. An important distinction: Who you are is different from what you do. You are not your behavior. Changing some behaviors that are invalid may alleviate some suffering that you experience.
Self-validation is critical for living with intense emotions. It is part of forming relationships and thriving. Practice and more practice will help you self-validate more naturally.

Jennifer Tapias Derch

Please Follow Me

Does validation on social media tell you what type of person you are?

By Martin Graff, Ph.D.

If you use social media, do you consider these statements to be accurate about you, or are you unconcerned or uninfluenced by others online?

The attention I get from social media is important to me. I consider someone to be popular based on the number of likes they get. I wish I could gain more likes online.

In a study my colleagues and I conducted, we hypothesized that personality and self-esteem affect how people use social media. We asked participants to respond to statements that showed how they appreciate being valued online.

We received responses from 332 people between the ages of 18 and 78; a third were men and two-thirds were women. Seventy percent of our responders reported posting online one to five times daily on up to 10 types of social media.

Our survey measured self-esteem and the personality characteristics of extraversion (sociable, outgoing), agreeableness (warm, sympathetic), conscientiousness (organized, disciplined), neuroticism (irritable, moody), and openness (imaginative, unconventional).

We found several ways in which types of validation in social media were related to self-esteem and personality:

Effort in Social Media:

Characterized by asking for likes or even paying to get more validation, this effort was related to low levels of agreeableness, trust, warmth, and modesty.

Taking Action:

This included deleting a post that did not receive many likes and was related to low levels of self-esteem, low conscientiousness, and low openness.

Honest Posting:

These people always presented themselves accurately online. Unconcerned with getting likes, they seemed to be more extraverted, sociable, and outgoing.

Blindness in Social Media:

Examples: Accepting friend requests from people they didn’t know or posting information inconsistent with their beliefs just to gain likes. This was related to low levels of conscientiousness, as well as impulsiveness, and being disorganized.

Positive Posting:

I always post positive things about myself. This was related to self-esteem, having confidence in one’s abilities, and low levels of neuroticism.

Finally, we found that none of the personality or self-esteem measures were related to whether receiving likes and validation improved one’s mood or self-esteem.

Jennifer Tapias Derch

Don’t Feel Grateful? That’s Okay

Forced Gratitude can make you feel worse.

By Sarah Epstein

There is a lot of pressure to feel grateful for health and well-being right now. After all, so many others are in terrible pain. Gratitude can increase our level of satisfaction, help us see beyond a crisis, and train the mind to look for positives. Yet the pressure to feel grateful can turn gratitude from a source of relief into a source of self-torment. Gratitude is great, but not when it’s guilt-ridden.

What does guilty gratitude sound like?

I should feel grateful…
because others have it so much worse
because I have a roof over my head
because I don’t have cancer
because I have so much support
because I made it this far

Yet forcing gratitude during a crisis does not work. People who try to guilt themselves into a grateful state by comparing their pain to others’ may unintentionally delegitimize their feelings and worsen rather than improve their mental health. They may feel responsible for feeling grateful rather than anxious, stuck, hurt, or overwhelmed. The attempt to feel grateful becomes a way to dismiss or reject uncomfortable feelings without honoring or addressing them. Gratitude becomes the weapon of choice against the self.

Signs That You Are Misusing Gratitude

Your tone is accusatory; gratitude becomes a rebuke. You yell at yourself: Feel grateful! You feel as if you’ve failed when you struggle to find that gratitude. You probably use the word should to tell yourself how to feel.

You decide you don’t deserve to feel pain. You compare your lot to others and conclude that your situation does not warrant painful feelings. Introducing gratitude becomes an exercise in ranking pain.

You try to replace your painful feelings with forced gratitude. Gratitude becomes a way to tell yourself that you’re not entitled to your feelings.

None of this is to say that gratitude should not be cultivated as a practice—it can be life-changing when done well and particularly helpful during a crisis.

Here are rules for using gratitude when everything feels overwhelming.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings: The first rule of gratitude is to allow yourself to be in pain, even if things could be worse, even if others have it worse, even if you’ve felt worse in the past. Allow yourself to feel and move through those feelings instead of immediately throwing gratitude at them to make them go away. You cannot successfully shame yourself out of your feelings by telling yourself to be grateful. Instead, gratitude can supplement those things and perhaps gently replace them over time, though not through force.

Validate your feelings: Before you invite in gratitude, validate your own feelings. Tell yourself that your feelings are OK. Notice them, notice where you feel them in your body, and welcome them. There can be no true gratitude without validation. If you try to force gratitude on yourself before reaching this point, you may end up feeling bullied into feeling something different. It will backfire.

Make room for both difficult feelings and gratitude: Gently allow yourself to see if you feel the capacity for gratitude alongside your other difficult feelings. Perhaps it sounds like: I feel so overwhelmed. I also feel really grateful that I have support to help me through it. Or perhaps it sounds like: This is so hard. I’m glad I have the safety net to get me through this tough stretch while I figure things out.

Try again later: Maybe in a moment of overwhelming hurt, you cannot access gratitude. That’s OK. When the crisis subsides and things feel calmer, try again to access it in a more healthy way.

Gratitude is gentle, positive, and welcoming; it should not bludgeon a person or induce shame. As we work our way through this moment in time, you may notice the pressure to feel grateful for whatever blessings you have access to. As you hear those messages and perhaps try to internalize them, notice whether gratitude has become an ally or another source of pain.

Affirmation Or Validation?

Why validation may be the key to communication.

By Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D.

When affirming something, you are offering support, or asserting something as fact. There is usually a positive connotation to this, in which one partner agrees with the other regarding their assertion. A husband affirming his wife’s belief that they need to spend more time together as a couple would be agreeing with her statement and holding it as true.

Often, I hear people using the words affirmation and validation interchangeably. Validation, unlike affirmation, does not mean that one person agrees with the other. Rather, to validate someone is to acknowledge and accept their feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Marsha Linehan notes that validation involves the expression of understanding, legitimacy, and acceptance of another’s experience. Validation does not attempt to alter a person’s experience, but rather accepts it as is.

In one study, college students were exposed to mental math problems and then assigned conditioned responses, either validating ones (I too would feel upset if I were the one completing the task) or invalidating ones (I don’t understand why you would feel that way). The researchers found that validating responses led to better emotion regulation.

For the husband mentioned, he might instead acknowledge and validate his wife’s belief that they need to spend time together. However, it does not necessarily mean that he agrees. Instead, he may feel that spending time apart is more important for their marriage and individual identities. But he has acknowledged and heard her. In this case, validating her with: “I understand that you want us to spend more time together.”

It’s important to realize that not all discussions will reach a mutually agreed upon consensus; however, in the interest of open communication, both partners should be able to express their views.

The Need For Approval

So, we have to like everything about you?

By Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

A friend once told me, “No matter what you do, some people won’t like you.” That helped me let go of the need to be liked by everyone. Our concerns about approval are part of being human. We don’t want to go around being hostile, selfish, and disrespectful. Here are some simple techniques you can use to overcome the need for approval.

1. Identify the situation.

This can be the trigger for your concern about what people think. Perhaps you are thinking of making a request of someone that he change his behavior, but you immediately start feeling anxious because of your underlying thoughts and feelings.

2. What are the advantages and disadvantages of needing approval?

This is the motivational piece for you to examine your assumption that you need approval. What are the costs to you? It may make it difficult for you to be honest; it may make it hard for you to get your needs met; you may worry about what might happen; and you might let people take advantage of you.

3. What negative automatic thoughts are you having?

These can include: She will think I am unfair or mean. She won’t like me. He thinks I am obnoxious. It’s awful when someone doesn’t like me. I can’t stand arguments.

4. What do these thoughts mean to you?

You might think: If she doesn’t like me, then I am wrong. Or I am a bad person. Or you might think: People will talk about me, and I won’t have any friends. These implications may be driving the need for approval.

5. Examine the evidence and the logic of your thoughts.

Are you really a bad person, or wrong, if a person disagrees with you? Perhaps you simply have different information, interpretations, or ideas. Perhaps you are right? If you think people will be upset with you, ask yourself if you have ever disagreed with anyone who still remained a friend.

6. Use the double-standard technique.

If people disagree with you, do you always get extremely upset? Do you write them off? Try to think of yourself as a supportive friend: If your friends don’t like something you say, what advice would you give them? Would you conclude that they are bad? Why would you be more tolerant of other people than you are of yourself?

7. What would you do if they didn’t like you?

To let problems go, put life in perspective. Perhaps you are skillful and respectful in asserting yourself with someone, but now that person doesn’t like what you say. Can you still be with your partner, your family, your friends, and your co-workers? Can you engage in all the activities that you engaged in before? You can do everything you did before. If this particular person doesn’t like what you say, or dislikes you, what difference does it make?

8. How will you feel about this in the future?

We often get upset about something happening in the moment, but we fail to realize that all of our emotions are open to change. Have you had the experience that you were unhappy with an interaction—say, three months ago—but now you can’t even remember it? That’s because other experiences have taken over, you have put it in perspective, and you have let it go.

9. Normalize disapproval.

We often get upset about things that happen to everyone. Who has the approval of every person they meet? We all experience disapproval—and still survive and thrive. Why should you be the one person who has to have universal approval?

10. Practice being assertive.

If you are concerned about disapproval, go to a store and request a 50 percent discount on something you have no intention of purchasing. The clerk will look at you as if you are crazy. You might say, “I thought I could get a bargain today.” By purposefully collecting harmless disapproval, you will come to realize that nothing important changes, except that now you are able to assert yourself.

You can be diplomatically assertive and sensitive to others and still do things some people won’t like. The only way to get through life is to tolerate some disapproval.

Submit your response to this story to letters@psychologytoday.com. If you would like us to consider your letter for publication, please include your name, city, and state. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

Pick up a copy of Psychology Today on newsstands now or subscribe to read the rest of the latest issue.

Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles
are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer – Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2021
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison. “
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.

,

.