You Can Be Happy / 7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person / School Calendar

Happiness 
is a state of
mind.
You can be Happy.
Be a Friend,
to yourself.
.
Only you
Truly
know yourself.

We
are capable of anything
our mind can think of.
If it is there,
it is possible.

You
are  the center
of your Universe.

“Reality is created by the mind.
We can change our reality
by changing our mind.”
–  Plato
Your brain
predicts
what any something
should be like,
then it generates a
vision,
based on the prediction.
It is this vision
that is experienced as the
real World.

.The mental reconstruction
of reality
is vivid, substantial and perceived
to be located in external objective space.
It becomes the brain’s
“model”
of the World.

Yes,
you are strong. 
You can do anything
you want.
.
Trust
in yourself.
And set your goal
to be Happy.
.
Do whatever it takes
to achieve Happiness.
Believe
in yourself,
and Love yourself.

 We 
can be Happy,
anywhere we are.
We do not need anyone’s
approval.

Let other people
be part of Life ‘s Journey,
but not the
destination.

Happiness
is always in your Hands.
It is
a state of mind.
Be a Friend,
a Best Friend,
to yourself.

 Let
no one
make you believe
otherwise.

We 
are capable of anything
our mind can think of.

You are
the possible.

So,
be Happy.
Become
your Dreams.
Believe
in Love,
and you will
Love,
Life.

Open the Door
to another Dimension. 
Life
is full of Light and Joy.
.
Brighten the darkness
all around.
With Smiles that
abound,
and many a cheerful
sound,
you will Light up
the Day.

Goodnight.

Choosing To Be Happy

Strategies for Happiness: 7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person

Written by Tom Valeo

Medically Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD on March 04, 2010

click here to read more

A popular greeting card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn’t so, according to a growing number of psychologists. You can choose to be happy, they say. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.

Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that “trying to be happier is like trying to be taller.” We each have a “happiness set point,” he argues, and move away from it only slightly.

And yet, psychologists who study happiness — including Lykken — believe we can pursue happiness. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude.

Happiness Strategy # 1: Don’t Worry, Choose Happy

The first step, however, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930, the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: “Happiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. … Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part.”

Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. The intention to be happy is the first of The 9 Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of the same name.

“Intention is the active desire and commitment to be happy,” they write. “It’s the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness.”

Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. “Choose to make happiness a top goal,” Stevens tells WebMD. “Choose to take advantage of opportunities to learn how to be happy. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and good career-related skills. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. The persons who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values.”

In short, we may be born with a happiness “set point,” as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.

Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive psychology. He actually assigns his students to make themselves happier during the semester.

“They have to say exactly what technique they will use,” says Haidt, a professor at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. “They may choose to be more forgiving or more grateful. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so they can challenge them. For example, when someone crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, but that’s very damaging to relationships. So they may learn to shut up their inner lawyer and stop building these cases against people.”

Once you’ve decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving happiness. Psychologists who study happiness tend to agree on ones like these.

Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude

In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily “gratitude exercise.” It involves listing a few things that make them grateful. This shifts people away from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness.

Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness

Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research. One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This reduces the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment, say Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The Psychology of Happiness.

In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness, clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. offers a 5-step process he calls REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then empathize and try to understand the act from the perpetrator’s point of view. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your life when you were forgiven. Commit to putting your forgiveness into words. You can do this either in a letter to the person you’re forgiving or in your journal. Finally, try to hold on to the forgiveness. Don’t dwell on your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.

The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a transgression. This is a form of chronic stress, says Worthington.

“Rumination is the mental health bad boy,” Worthington tells WebMD. “It’s associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field — obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety — probably hives, too.”

Happiness Strategy #4: Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings

As Jon Haidt puts it, improve your mental hygiene. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt compares the mind to a man riding an elephant. The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings — mostly unconscious — that drive your behavior. The man, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as you can exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.

“The key is a commitment to doing the things necessary to retrain the elephant,” Haidt says. “And the evidence suggests there’s a lot you can do. It just takes work.”

For example, you can practice meditation, rhythmic breathing, yoga, or relaxation techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. You can learn to recognize and challenge thoughts you have about being inadequate and helpless.

“If you learn techniques for identifying negative thoughts, then it’s easier to challenge them,” Haidt said. “Sometimes just reading David Burns‘ book, Feeling Good, can have a positive effect.”

Happiness Strategy #5: Remember, Money Can’t Buy Happiness

Research shows that once income climbs above the poverty level, more money brings very little extra happiness. Yet, “we keep assuming that because things aren’t bringing us happiness, they’re the wrong things, rather than recognizing that the pursuit itself is futile,” writes Daniel Gilbert in his book, Stumbling on Happiness. “Regardless of what we achieve in the pursuit of stuff, it’s never going to bring about an enduring state of happiness.”

Happiness Strategy #6: Foster Friendship

There are few better antidotes to unhappiness than close friendships with people who care about you, says David G. Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness. One Australian study found that people over 70 who had the strongest network of friends lived much longer.

“Sadly, our increasingly individualistic society suffers from impoverished social connections, which some psychologists believe is a cause of today’s epidemic levels of depression,” Myers writes. “The social ties that bind also provide support in difficult times.”

Happiness Strategy #7: Engage in Meaningful Activities

People are seldom happier, says psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, than when they’re in the “flow.” This is a state in which your mind becomes thoroughly absorbed in a meaningful task that challenges your abilities. Yet, he has found that the most common leisure time activity — watching TV — produces some of the lowest levels of happiness.

To get more out of life, we need to put more into it, says Csikszentmihalyi. “Active leisure that helps a person grow does not come easily,” he writes in Finding Flow. “Each of the flow-producing activities requires an initial investment of attention before it begins to be enjoyable.”

So it turns out that happiness can be a matter of choice — not just luck. Some people are lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, certain thought patterns and interpersonal skills definitely help people become an “epicure of experience,” says David Lykken, whose name, in Norwegian, means “the happiness.”

“The foolish man
seeks happiness in the distance,
the wise grows it under his feet.”
– James Oppenheim

Knowledge is power
and LIFE.

School Calendar

2022-23
Please check back regularly
for any amendments that may occur.

First Semester
Sept. 6 – December 16   2022

Sept. 6 (TUESDAY)               First Day of First Semester
Oct. 10 (Monday)                   Columbus Day Holiday
Nov. 21 – 25                           Fall Break (and Thanksgiving)
Dec. 16                                   Last Day of Fall Semester

Second Semester

Jan. 3 (TUESDAY)                 Second Semester Begins
Jan. 16  (Monday)                  Dr. Martin L. King Holiday
Feb. 20  (Monday)                  Presidents’ Day Holiday
Mar. 13 – 17                           Spring Break Holiday
April 7 & 10                           Good Friday and Easter Monday Holidays
May 26                                    Last Day of Spring Semester

Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles

are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer
– Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2023
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison.“
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.

Hang on
to your Faith.
You will get there.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

What a BEAUTIFUL Way the Lord Speaks / Forgive and Forget / Sept. 7 School Begins

With
the Guidance of our Precious Lord,
Today can be made ingenious
mixing melancholy and Joy
in a Beautiful Masterpiece
of our Time –
Life.
.
No,
we cannot avoid the melancholic tone
of circumstance
laden upon our very fragile
and very Human Hearts.

But Hope
is embodied in every new Birth
of every precious Moment in Time.
And each new generation
of Prayerful Thought,
can help to make
a better World.

Beautiful and Timeless Messages
emanate from the Word
of God.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY
THE LORD SPEAKS.

Like the charming and elegant Birds
dancing high in the Sky,
singing their favorite songs
in a perpetual Creation
of Divine Inspiration.
The spectacular landscapes
of the horizons of our Life
offer inspiration and pleasure
to purify our Spirits.

The Magnificent
and Celestial Essence of our Eternal Being
can be reached deep in our Hearts
in its reflections,
through the shining Beauty
of God’s very Soft and Gentle
Love.

There is so much Beauty
and Truth
in this World.
And it is there
for YOU.
.
Rest your thoughts,
quiet your bruised mind.
Open your eyes,
and open your Heart.
God is always near.
The Celestial Light
you will see and feel
is your own Light,
your own Love,
your own Beauty,
Created by God.

We Live
at the Edge
of Perpetual Creation.
The Divine Power of God
resides within each of us.
His Light of Divine Energy
is revealed in spectacular landscapes
created for the pleasure
of the Sacred Souls
of His Beloved Children.

Such Beauty
transports us into
ourselves.
Feel Eternally Grateful
for everything in this Life.
Share the Beauty
of everything you are,
everything that makes us whole,
everything that completes us.

“Happiness held is the seed;
Happiness shared is the
Flower.”
– John Harrigan

Don’t give up
on the person you are becoming.
Enchanting Love and Light
from the Sacred Heart of God
will touch your Heart
and reveal the Magnificent Being of Light
and Love
that you are.
.
The Beauty of God’s Love
is all around us,
emanating PURE energy,
allowing us to see and feel
Love
in every moment
of Time.

We need to remember
He made us
for His Wonderful Purpose –
to Love,
an be Loved.

The awareness
of our impressive inner Beauty,
and the brilliance of our Spirit,
 can give the Heart
an aura of calm and tranquility
that allows us to simply forget 
our sorrows and anguish.
In our World
we unnecessarily punish ourselves
every day,
by violence and the loss of respect
for Human values.
.
In the midst
of all this seemingly endless insanity,
there is Hope.
Our Faith,
in God and in each other,
can reach our Hearts
and revitalize us
with a wonderful and enchanting
realization
of the Ultimate Reality
that God is
Love,
and so are
WE.

Seek the Lord in Prayer,
where He will be found.
Call upon His Holy Name.
He is near.
.
Return Home,
return to the Lord.
Ask for His mercy,
for He will abundantly pardon.
He
is your Father.
And YOU
are His Sacred Child.
.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there, But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
“For you shall go out with Joy,
And be led out with Peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing
before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”
– Isaiah 55:8-11

Go
where you can go.
And Thank God
for you for being
you.

Be grateful for the Love
God has placed
into your Heart.

Seek Peace inwardly
and you will find it,
and ultimately,
your True Self.

Goodnight.

Forgive and Forget

click here for more

It’s not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving — and ‘forgetting’ — can be powerful. Here are some tips.

By Tom Valeo

Medically Reviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD on February 09, 2007

From the WebMD Archives

Many people view forgiveness as an offshoot of love — a gift given freely to those who have hurt you.

Forgiveness, however, may bring enormous benefits to the person who gives that gift, according to recent research. If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you’ll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiving is notoriously difficult. “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive,” said C.S. Lewis.

And forgetting may not be a realistic or desirable goal.

“Despite the familiar cliche, ‘forgive and forget,’ most of us find forgetting nearly impossible,” says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Hope College. “Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting. Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and adverbs that stir up contempt.”

Forgiving (and Forgetting) Quells Stress

That type of angry “embellishment,” as Witvliet calls it, seems to carry serious consequences. In a 2001 study, she monitored the physiological responses of 71 college students as they either dwelled on injustices done to them, or imagined themselves forgiving the offenders.

“When focused on unforgiving responses, their blood pressure surged, their heart rates increased, brow muscles tensed, and negative feelings escalated,” she says. “By contrast, forgiving responses induced calmer feelings and physical responses. It appears that harboring unforgiveness comes at an emotional and a physiological cost. Cultivating forgiveness may cut these costs.”

But how do we cultivate forgiveness?

Frederic Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, readily admits that forgiveness, like love, can’t be forced.

“You can’t just will forgiveness,” says Luskin, author of Forgive For Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. “What I teach is that you can create conditions where forgiveness is more likely to occur. There are specific practices we offer that diminish hostility and self-pity, and increase positive emotions, so it becomes more likely that a genuine, heartfelt release of resentment will occur.”

How to Encourage Forgiveness

For example, Luskin encourages the practice of gratitude — the active effort to acknowledge what’s good in your life.

“Gratitude is simply focusing your attention on the positive things that have happened,” he says. “That creates a biochemical experience that makes it more likely that forgiveness will occur.”

Stress management, whether through meditation, deep breathing, or relaxation exercises, also helps quell the stress of anger and resentment, he says. So does “cognitive reframing,” which fosters acceptance of the facts of your situation.

“You may wish you had a better mother or a better lover,” Luskin says, “but the world is the way it is.”

Finally, Luskin encourages people to change the story they tell themselves so they appear more like survivors who are hopeful about the future rather than victims with a grievance.

“You can change, ‘I hate my mother because she didn’t love me,’ to, ‘life is a real challenge for me because I didn’t feel loved as a child,'” Luskin said. “That makes forgiveness so much more possible.”

Two Types of Forgiveness

Everett L. Worthington Jr., PhD, a professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University and the author of Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Theory and Applications, divides forgiveness into two types. Decisional forgiveness involves choosing to let go of angry thoughts about the person you feel has wronged you.

“You can tell yourself, ‘I am not going to seek revenge,’ for example, or, ‘I am going to avoid that person,'” Worthington says. “You could choose decisional forgiveness and still have a lot of emotional unforgiveness.”

The ultimate goal, however, is emotional forgiveness, in which negative emotions such as resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger, and fear are replaced with love, compassion, sympathy, and empathy.

“Emotional forgiveness is where the health action is,” says Worthington. “Emotional unforgiveness causes a chronic stress response, which results in obsessing about the wrong done to you. Rumination is what gets people into trouble. Rumination is the mental health bad boy. It’s associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field — obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, depression … probably hives too.”

REACH for Forgiveness

To help people achieve emotional forgiveness, Worthington has devised a 5-step program called REACH, with each letter representing one step.

“First you recall the hurt objectively, without blame and self-victimization,” Worthington says. “Then you empathize by trying to imagine the viewpoint of the person who wronged you. The altruistic part involves getting people to think about a time they were forgiven and how that felt. When it’s time to commit to forgiveness, people usually say, not yet, but when they finally do, they must then hold on to forgiveness.”

All this is not merely theoretical for Worthington. His mother was beaten to death with a crowbar in 1995, and yet, by applying the five steps of REACH, he managed to forgive.

“Within 30 hours I was able to forgive the youths who had committed this horrible crime,” he writes in Forgiveness and Reconciliation.

When Not Forgiving Is OK

But some people cannot forgive, and that’s OK too, according to Jeanne Safer, PhD, a psychotherapist and the author of Forgiving and Not Forgiving. For some of her patients, recognizing that they don’t have to forgive is a huge relief.

“Many don’t have to forgive in order to resolve their feelings,” Safer says. “They say, ‘I can never feel OK about these terrible things, but I’m not going to be vengeful.'”

To help them achieve this resolution, Safer offers a three-step process. The first step involves re-engagement — a decision to think through what happened. The second step, recognition, means looking at every feeling you may have about the injury. “You ask yourself, ‘why do I want revenge?'” Safer said. “Revenge is based on powerlessness and it’s doomed to failure.”

The final step involves reinterpretation of the injury, including an attempt to understand the person who caused it. “This is where forgivers and nonforgivers divide,” Safer said. “Sometimes you’re not able to reconnect with the person, but if you go through this process, at least you won’t be a victim.”

Forgiveness research proliferated after the publication in 1984 of Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, by Lewis B. Smedes, who claimed that forgiveness produced benefits for the forgiver.

Safer, however, is wary of those who picked up on this idea and started to promote what she calls “promiscuous forgiveness.”

“What’s important is working it through and achieving resolution, whether it leads to forgiveness or not. Forgiveness involves wishing the other well. You’re already there if you don’t wish them ill,” Safer says.

“It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh, it seems to me
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

What do I do to make you love me
What I’ve gotta do to be heard
What do I do when lightening strikes me
What’ve I gotta do
What’ve I gotta do?
When sorry seems to be the hardest word.”
– Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Lyrics/songs texts/paintings/articles

are property and copyright of their owners
and provided for educational purposes.

Copyright Disclaimer – Section 107 – Copyright Act 1976,
allowance is made for “fair use”
for purposes such as criticism, comment,
news reporting, teaching, scholarship,and research.
Fair use is permitted by copyright statute.

Non-profit, educational or personal use
tips the balance in favor of “fair use”.

© Copyright 1995-2021
The Anderson Private School.

“He who opens a school door,
closes a prison. “
– Victor Hugo

I wish you all
 Peace.